Day 15 & 16 – confession.

Yesterday and today have been a reeeeeaaaaallll struggle.  Today was probably the worst since starting the fast.  I think it’s a combination of the weather being bloody cold, it’s that time of the month and perhaps my body starting to want food.  But my god, I almost undid all my hard work this evening.  I was super tired today, a bit emotional and on the way home from work I nearly stopped off to get a kebab and hot chips!  But I didn’t. Instead, I had a date (as in the fruit).  Yup, I caved and had a date.  16 days of no food and I ate a date.  Oh boy it was so good!  I am a bit annoyed at myself for eating it but then I compare a date to the damage a kebab and hot chips would’ve done (my poor digestion probably would have a hissy fit!), and I feel a bit better.  If a date is what I needed to keep me going to 21 days, then I’m ok with that.  I am wondering if I should break my fast this weekend.  It’ll mean fasting for 18/19 days instead of 21.

This 3rd week has been a real emotional roller coaster.  Almost like the 3rd week is the emotional detox.  And today I was walking past restaurant and food stalls and just hating everyone who was eating and enjoying beautiful food.  It really is not a nice place to be in.  I feel like I’m missing out big time because I’m not eating.  My friends talk about going to restaurants of food festivals and I feel I have to decline so that I’m not around temptation.  I also feel awkward not eating when others are.  Yes, pretty miserable tonight and have quite a pity party.

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